


Shepard's Word

by FoxyWolfMeerkat



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Other, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 13:33:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13008894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxyWolfMeerkat/pseuds/FoxyWolfMeerkat
Summary: 6. Empty Kiss – When one of you don't kiss back, just the stoic feeling of their lips on yours, it's empty, like no one even cares anymore.





	Shepard's Word

**Author's Note:**

> I've never played ME3 and I never will so this doubles as a prompt and a kinda closure. Sorta.  
> Edit: I lied. I caved and bought ME3 yesterday.

Shepard was not a good woman to make angry. It wasn't an easy feat to manage, usually, or so Alenko had thought. A person could only be so kind but he hadn't entirely considered that she could be so unforgiving. He'd been angry himself, a whole two years without so much as a word and when she shows up again it turns out she's working along side known terrorists? It was too much to swallow in one go! Kaidan had even been upset when he'd first heard from Anderson that she'd been reinstated as a Spectre without so much as a real investigation- Only her word and a few promises.

Of course, Shepard's word was the sort of thing the universe hung on, no matter how much the Council tried to make it look otherwise.

When he first arrived at the Normandy- This new, kind of huge and not entirely familiar Normandy- Kaidan fought the gut reaction of thinking it was little more than a mockery of what once was. Much of the crew who'd survived the first Normandy was still back with the Alliance like him. Yet there were just enough familiar faces here to set him off-balance.  
In particular, when Kaidan first stepped on-board, he got a long look from Joker. Surprisingly unreadable, if he had some opinion he was keeping it to himself for now but at least he'd let the other man aboard.

"Where's Shepard?"

"I don't know. Have a look around, you'll find her eventually."

"Bullshit Moreau. You always keep tight tabs on Shepard."

The pilot tisked and looked away finally, "Ugh.... Fine, whatever. It's your funeral dude. There's an elevator. Take it up."

"My _funeral_? ...Why?"

Joker looked at him like he'd grown a second head, "You can't even take a guess?"

"Well... We haven't... spoken in a while-"

"She _tried_ talking to you and you shut her down, asshole. You didn't even give her a whole fucking minute to explain, come on!"

Kaidan felt himself stiffen up, "She was working with Cerberus! It'd been two years and she never-"

"Yeah, weird thing about that: She was dead. Actually dead. I'm serious," Joker sat up carefully as he continued. "Cerberus kind of... Build a new Shepard from what was left of the old one. Do not ask me the science behind that bullshit but... Yeah. She didn't want to work for them, but we were kind of in a pickle. It's not like you fuckers were going to help; as you demonstrated just beautifully I might add. Asshole."

Kaidan shook his head, "Come on Joker, you can't seriously expect me to believe that."

"...You're still pissy aren't you?" Joker threw up his hands in defeat, turning away with a smooth spin of his chair. "Don't believe me? Fine. Ask Shepard. I told you where she is already."

  
  


With a few extra pointers as to where the elevator was, Kaidan soon found himself in Shepard's quarters. She had just been doing something at her desk, but as soon as he walked in she turned towards the door. Her face was blank as she watched him and for a moment he just stood in the doorway, dead silent.  
This hadn't felt like he expected it to. Kaidan had expected some relief, seeing Shepard again after coming to realize that she'd been playing Cerberus the whole time. That little pang in his chest now that he was really seeing her again after so long. However, there wasn't anything. He even felt a little cold.

The pause might have continued indefinitely if she hadn't waved him over. "What are you doing here Alenko?"

"I came to see you, Lily." Kaidan obliged her and the door slid shut behind him.

"Shepard, please. Or Lillian if you really have to address me by my first name." She stood carefully, her long shirt shifting as her legs moved. Shepard folded her arms. "I wasn't expecting you."

"I heard what you did to the Illusive Man. ...Everyone with the clearance to know has been laughing about it."

"And you had clearance?"

"No. Anderson told me. He thought I'd want to know."

She scowled, "Did you want to know?"

Kaidan didn't answer, mostly because he didn't have one. Before he'd boarded, he probably would have said yes but the longer he was on this monster amalgamation of a ship the less sure he was. So instead he pressed forward, got into Shepard's space and kissed her gently.  
Being in armor while she wasn't should have made his heart skip a beat- instead he felt intrusive.  
Her lips were just as warm and soft as he remembered, but she didn't kiss back.  
He could feel her still crossed arms holding them apart, maintaining a shield thinner than biotics and infinitely more effective.  
Worst of all, none of this bothered him. In fact, it seemed par for the course. He stopped pressing into the kiss nearly as soon as it started. Kaidan just held himself there, waiting for a spark that never came.

Two years was a long time when you thought someone you loved was dead.

Past tense.

He pulled away. "I'm sorry I bothered you Shepard." Walking away had never been so easy, especially when he could hear her sitting back down at her desk behind him. Not so much as a word.


End file.
